Space Camp

I’m at space camp. The US federal government has provided funding for overseas flame bearers of truth like myself to learn about space exploration. Thus, I am spending the week here at Kennedy Space Center in Cape Canaveral, Florida. Here are the highlights so far.

• Rocket Garden: When rockets don’t get used, NASA parks them in their visitors center. Due to this, there are about 10 rockets on display, all of them standing upright, in all their phallic glory, proclaiming the awesomeness of the US space program. The only two things that could make the rocket garden any better is if one, they combined the rocket garden with a beer garden, and two, they had a Saturn V* rocket also on display. Unfortunately, there are no spare “most powerful rocket known to man” lying around.

• The Space Shuttle: We got to visit the space shuttle Endeavor (actually known as an orbiter), in it’s preparation bay. It was a little hard to see, since about 300 rocket scientists were all busy doing whatever it is you do to the most complex machine known to man. Unfortunately, I was not allowed to touch the Endeavor, as NASA reports that in the past, they have had problems with visitors wetting themselves.

• The Future: NASA people spoke to us about the plan to put astronauts back on the moon in 2020 through the Constellation program, using the Ares rocket system. This will become “on-like-donkey-kong” after the Space Shuttles are decommissioned in 2010 (yes, that’s a direct quote). Here is a sweet NASA animation
of the Ares rocket! (click on Constellation Mission, New Spacesuits)

That’s all for now.

* This is the rocket that put people on the moon during the Apollo program. It ran on pure testosterone.